There are many things that America could probably do without. Rid America of these pesky things and our country might eventually return to greatness--or not. Below is a partial list of things that are totally screwing up America.
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| Be gentle with me, please... |
- TSA. Pictured at the right is a possibly terrorist nun from the radical Carmelite order being frisked by a TSA employee. It has long been suspected that bread baked by the Carmelite nuns for Holy Communion may contain traces of baking powder, which is an ingredient used in the making of Gut bombs. These Gut bombs, also known as double bacon chesseburgers, are found in American fast food restaurants. The Gut bombs are volatile, often causing noxious methane explosions after their consumption by suicidal flatulation bombers. Baking powder is found in the buns of these double cheeseburgers. Perhaps the TSA employee in the picture expects to find baking powder residue on the nun's buns. By the way, Carmelite nuns rarely get out much making them even more suspect.
- CAIR. The Council on American & Islamic Relations can be a real bear when it comes to imposing Sharia law on the United States. But instead of going through the long process of passing a Constitutional amendment, the CAIR bears are misusing the court process to try to establish Sharia law. Aided by hack, mentally impaired, America-hating, Liberal-Fascist judges that misinterpret the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment; the CAIR bears seem to be on their way to establishing their religion as the American religion. So it seems that the Establishment Clause applies only to Christians. Perhaps these stupid judges had their law school transcripts locked up to hide their legal ineptitude, (just as Obama has done), when they were going through their confirmation hearings.
- Lawyers. This is one half of the two professions that ruined America in the last half of the 20th century. From frivolous lawsuits for breach of contract caused by broken dates to class action lawsuits resulting in millions of dollars to the lawyers and $8 payouts to damaged plaintiffs--these plaintiffs are left with the agonizing decision of what to do with their big $8 payout. Should they go to Europe, buy a new car, or should they buy some "40s" to drink as they share their good fortune with their family and friends? (Steel Reserve 111 and Mickey's Big Mouth are street favs.) Picture a bloodsucking parasite and it would still make a better human being than the average lawyer.
- Accountants. This is the other half of the two headed hydra that ruined America. Accountants are the least educated "professionals" operating in America. But yet they still wield huge power. They are the jack-offs of all trades. They practice medicine when they deny patients allegedly "costly" but vital medical procedures from HMOs. (Get ready for ObamaCare folks.) They "interpret" tax law everytime that they fill out a tax return. (They are also the butt-wipes that devise those labyrinth-like computation forms used to fill out your "1040"!) They are amateur pharmacists when, based solely on cost and not effectiveness, they determine which drugs will be on the drug formularies of health insurance plans. They even make artistic decisions when we get those unimaginative serially bad movies with numbers in the title. Hollywood made much better movies before accountants completely took over the financial end of studio business. What Shakespeare should have said is, "First, kill all of the bean counters! Then we'll kill all of the lawyers!"
- Chinese Junk. Aren't you a bit tired of expensive, crappy consumer goods made in China? American businesses justify the manufacture of goods in China by saying that the labor costs are cheaper in China. Yeah, that old forced labor is a lot cheaper. (You can bet the ranch that some short-sighted, dumb ass accountant is responsible for this brain fart.) And to what end are labor costs being cut? The consumer still pays twice as much for half as much. Right now I'm struggling with a lousy Chinese made toilet flushing mechanism that didn't last a month before its poor quality manufacturing became apparent. I've also had a blood pressure monitor from Oregon Scientific, (that's as American as the product got), prematurely peter out on me. What's maddening is that I didn't use the product all that much. (I also have a box full of other shoddy electronics made in China that don't work.) Let's hope that the Chinese don't start making Trojan condoms. Oi vey! They almost killed Fido and his fellow canines with their poisonous dog food. Speaking of poison, they used lead based paint on toys for American tots. But lack of health and safety standards (or any standards at all) hasn't stopped the Chinese economic juggernaut. Enough already please. America grow a pair and start making your own stuff again. And while you're at it, kill some accountants and lawyers.
As soon as my blood pressure levels off, I'll provide another list of things that America could do without. Oh damn, I don't have my crappy Chinese-made blood pressure monitor anymore!
