UNCIVIL SPEECH: "We have to arm the Libyan rebels first before we can find out who they are." This is proof that Liberals are the stupidest people on Earth.



Illustration by Nick Nafta

Young associate lawyers are admonished by senior partners in their law firms to "never ask a question that you do not know the answer to." The idea behind that admonition is to prevent embarrassing and unpleasant surprises in front of a jury. They also teach that principle at law schools. President Obama allegedly attended what is considered by many as the premier law school in America--Harvard Law School. Maybe he wasn't paying attention during that particular lecture in his trial techniques class at Harvard. We are now hearing that Obama and the highly esteemed Hillary Clinton--a Yale Law School grad--are now seriously considering arming the Libyan rebels without knowing who they really are or for whom they are really fighting for.

     But yesterday, in a moment of Ivy League elitism, Obama said that there are professionals among the rebels, i.e., doctors, lawyers, and engineers. Hmm, Yasser Arafat was a civil engineer.  Che Guevara was a medical doctor. Fidel Castro is a lawyer. It seems that a professional degree might be a valid credential to be a revolutionary or freedom fighter.  Universities and colleges in the 1960s and the early 1970s were full of revolutionary wannabes. This was especially true in law schools all over the United States. They were all going to "change the world and make a difference."  But maybe there is some credence to having professionals as  revolutionaries toppling a dictator or just being plain old fashion freedom fighters--even if they do end up being the same as the old dictator. (There's a song in there somewhere.)  

     There's also rumored to be temporary outside revolutionaries that are working with the Libyan rebels. This begs the question, is there a temp agency that hires these guys? Does the Robert Half Agency have a division for itinerant insurgents? Does Manpower have a rent-a-revolutionary program? This would be the ultimate outsourcing of a job that Americans should not be doing anyway.  But sooner or later, the nearly bankrupt Uncle Sam will be drawn into the Libyan conflict with pockets pulled inside out.  Do you really think that the toothless British lion and the French surrender monkeys could hack it in Libya?

     The grand naïveté of the modern American leftist is that they assume that because someone has an advanced academic degree that they can be somehow like them, i.e., gooble gobble, we accept him, we accept him, one of us.  Nothing could be further from the truth. Liberals are frat boy pranksters in comparison with hardcore Islamo-Fascist terrorists.  In reality, modern Liberals are coffee house communists with dreams of revolutions where no blood is ever shed and capitalist pigs are banished forever.  Allegedly Lenin once called American leftists "useful idiots." Add to that description naive, and Osama Bin Laden will be laughing his scrofulous ass off in Hell.

UNCIVIL SPEECH: DR. KONSPIRACY EXPLAINS OBAMA'S FOREIGN POLICY



Illustration by N. Nafta

EDITOR'S NOTE:  The APWP interviewed Dr. Gustav Konspiracy after President Obama's Libya speech on Monday night.  We conducted the interview at the Mengale Institute for Liberal Studies of the Human Mind in Boulevard, California.  Dr. Konspiracy has long studied political dichotomies.  Dr. Konspiracy developed the theory of the Trotsky Two Step Method of Mental Gymnastics in which it possible to simultaneously hold contradictory evil thoughts without guilt or any semblance of a conscience.  In 1985, Dr. Konspiracy conducted a ground breaking study of progressive leftist activists. The control group consisted of registered Democrat voters, Socialist Worker Party members, Communist Party USA members, and public employee and teacher union members.  Dr. Konspiracy selected this group to reflect American mainstream political thought in consultation with advisers from the Disassociated Press, the Crescent News Network, the National Broadcasters for Collectivism, the Collective Broadcasting System, the American Broadcasting Collective, the Partisan Broadcasting Service, and National Partisan Radio.  The experimental group consisted of activist individuals that were militantly for abortion rights (choice) while maintaining strong sentiments against the death penalty for serial killers, brutal rapists, and assorted criminals.  This study led to the crystallization of the Democrat Party Platform in 1992, when Bill Clinton won the Presidency espousing a middle of the road platform while concealing a distinctly socialist agenda.  Obama during the 2008 Presidential Election effectively concealed his Afro-Marxist tendencies while projecting the image of a confident centrist progressive.  Since then Obama has demonstrated at times inconsistent and incoherent behavior particularly when the Presidential teleprompter is in the shop.  Despite his vain attempt to justify his erratic whipsaw foreign policy, Obama failed to clarify his Libya intervention during his nationally broadcast speech on Monday night.  We asked Dr. Konspiracy to help explain the Obama foreign policy paradox.

APWP: Dr. Konspiracy can you explain the recent bouts of indecisiveness by President Obama regarding foreign policy?

DK: There is a popular newly theorized syndrome known as the Kelsey-Grammar syndrome in which an individual appears to be in control, is articulate, and is unfazed by chaotic situations.  Some might describe it as a cool aloofness under fire. In the case of the President, and this is without having examined him personally, he would  appear to be in a dissociative fugue state.  Dissociative fugue may involve unplanned travel or wandering, and is sometimes accompanied by the establishment of a new identity.  In the case of the President, he has had to establish a new identity as a statesman and as a working man... and not just a smooth talking rabble-rousing community organizer.  These are things that he attempted to do earlier in his first autobiography.  He wrote a follow-up autobiography, which did resonate with the lesser educated masses. Meanwhile, the elites began to see him as a potential tool to be used for their ends.  They may be rethinking their choice in light of his recent confused behavior.

APWP: Can you elaborate on dissociative fugue state as it relates to President Obama?

DK  Certainly. Have you noticed that every time there is a crisis that President Obama takes a trip abroad, plays golf, or shoots hoops?  The situation in Libya is on point in that regard.  Obama took off to Rio while Libya was in a state of siege.  Can you imagine Franklin Roosevelt going on vacation during D-Day?  Abe Lincoln going to the theater during the Battle of Gettysburg?  I seriously doubt that LBJ shot hoops during the Tet Offensive.  

APWP: What about the identity aspect?

DK:  Well, that's a real sticking point with me.  I don't want to appear to be a "birther" but the lack of a valid birth certificate complicates the matter.  I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but it would help if he produced a birth certificate, if only just to silence  his critics.  All of us have  a sense of who we are.  We get this from several sources: our family, our friends, and from legal documents like a birth or baptismal certificate.  It's somewhat discomforting to some people that someone wouldn't seek to prove something like where you were born.  To add to the confusion, there's few people that remember President Obama prior to his college and law school years.  In fact, we know little about him except for what's in his two autobiographies.  Tom Brokaw and Charlie Rose, I think, had a discussion about this on Rose's PBS show. They said out loud what many of us are thinking.  I wonder really if we are comfortable not knowing much of anything about the individual that is the most powerful man in the world?  All of his records are sealed... from first grade to law school.  It's kind of hard to put your arms around that.

APWP: So how does all of this explain Obama's confused foreign policy?

 

DK: He doesn't have a true sense of himself, i.e., an identity.  His persona has been created by handlers that have scripted his entire life.  Unless the script is there then he doesn't know what to do unless he is told what to do.  He is like an actor that cannot do improvisational theater.  Crises spontaneously pop up.  You can't prepare a script that will anticipate oil spills, revolutions, and natural disasters. Without an understanding of your character--yourself--then you have no coping mechanism that you can fall back on to competently handle a crisis. This causes confusion and hence, the lack of a cohesive foreign policy and a tendency to bury one's head in the sand.

 

APWP: Thank you for your insights Dr. Konspiracy.

______________________

               

Dr. Gustav Konspiracy's latest book, Dr. Konspiracy's Nightmare Theories - Symptoms & Syndromes of Political Figures is published by Wandom Outhouse and will be available in bookstores on April 1, 2011.  It will sell for $29.95.  It is Dr. Konspiracy's twentieth book on abnormal political psychology.  Dr. Konspiracy is the Marquis De Sade Professor of Abnormal Psychology at the Hiram Walker School of Psychology at Wallace C. Wanker University in Walla Walla, Washington.  Dr. Konspiracy is currently a visiting professor at the Mengale Institute for Liberal Studies of the Human Mind in Boulevard, California.