UNCIVIL SPEECH: GILBERT GOTT-FIRED & OTHER DUNCES

Illustration by Nick Nafta

Why do "one trick ponies" that have a good thing going screw it up by being cruel, stupid, or insensitive. The one trick pony troika of Michael Vick, Charlie Sheen, and Gilbert Gott-fired comes to mind.  Vick forfeited a $30+ million NFL contract by running an cruel dog fighting and illegal gambling ring. (The illegal gambling-phobic NFL has since taken him back.  They are total hypocrites.) Sheen boots a $48 million TV contract by being a substance abusing libertine and anti-Semite. Gilbert Gott-fired loses a national spokesmouth gig with AFLAC doing the voice-over for the AFLAC Duck by being an insensitive lout with poor comedic timing. (Voice-over artists take note, a lucrative job is now available if you can demonstrate a semblance of humanity.)

     Each of the above-mentioned dunces should drop to their collective knees--(Marxist lingo)--and thank the Good Lord for their largely undeserved good fortune. Without football, Vick would be just another dog-killing street punk. Without his famous Daddy and acting, i.e., if you can call playing yourself on a TV sitcom "serious" acting, Charlie Sheen would be a drunken doorman at a crack house or a whorehouse.   And finally, Gilbert Gott-fired has shown himself to be little more than another tasteless act in a vulgar freak show for demented children.



Illustration by Nick Nafta

Speaking of dunces, our Presidunce is spending most of his time these tumultuous days playing golf, shooting hoops, and filling out his NCAA college basketball tournament bracket sheet for the Oval Office betting pool.  Meanwhile, Libyan rebels are being slaughtered by Qaddafi, Japan is suffering through earthquakes and nuclear plant meltdowns, public employee unions are destroying state budgets, the U.S. Post Office will be broke by the end of September, gas and food prices are rising meteorically, and there is still no Federal budget after six months.  

     During 2008 Presidential Election, the Presidunce was very vocal in saying that we "took our eye off of the ball" in Afghanistan by going to Iraq.  In two years, we've lost more men in Afghanistan under Obama than in the previous eight years under the hated George W. Bush.  Yet, the Snooze Media no longer runs the little segments where they name the casualties in Iraq and Afghanistan in order to drive home the point that "Bush lied and people died."  When gasoline prices rose in the last six months of 2008, Bush got the blame. Not so with our Presidunce.  He gets off Scot-free.

     At what point does Obama ever become responsible for his actions and non-actions?  Probably never.  This is because the hard bigotry of low expectations is at work. Liberal-Fascists tend to have low expectations of all minorities.  Let's call it the "Great White Father Complex" as WMAL morning talk show host Chris Plante says. 

     White Liberal-Fascists patronizingly declare that Obama is the smartest President ever. In truth,   several Presidents were much smarter, e.g., Nixon, Jefferson, and both Presidents Adams.  Answers.com has a claim that Obama scored high enough on the Law School Admissions Test to qualify for membership in the smart guy organization MENSA.  But we'll never know for sure how smart he is because Obama's records as far back as first grade are sealed.  Hmm, what is he hiding?  Query: How do you flunk coloring in first grade?  Maybe it's the same way Al Gore flunked out of divinity school. (Query: How do you flunk God?)

     If Obama did score high on any standardized test it is probably because he was given the answers by his handlers.  I mean really, a guy that pronounces "corpsmen" as "corpsemen"?  But, maybe that's how they say it at Hahvud or Columbia.  During the 2008 Presidential Election, Obama said that he had been to 57 states in the U.S.!  For the record, there are 57 Muslim states. Maybe that's what our closeted Muslim sympatico really meant.  But Obama got yet another pass for that last one from the Snooze Media because he was probably really "tired" when he said it. Really?

     There are no such excuses for Michele Bachmann, arch-nemesis of Nazi Pelosi, from Liberal-Fascist political thugs like Lawrence O'Dumbbell (O'Donnell).  She is being crucified by O'Dumbbell for misplacing the Battle of Lexington and Concord in New Hampshire instead of Massachusetts.  O'Dumbbell proceeds to insult her congressional district by saying, "Perhaps all of Michele Bachmann's staff comes from her district which may be the most ignorant congressional district in America."  Here's news for you O'Dumbbell, smarter things than you have been flushed down toilets in Congressional districts all over America.  In fact, a single compost pile has far more intelligence than all the Liberal-Fascists combined. OK, so maybe that's hyperbole, but this is the kind of political analysis that we get from the Liberal-Fascist Squawking Heads and from the Snooze Media. 

   Perhaps the solution to all this is--to paraphrase Shakespeare--"The first thing we do, let's kill all the journalists."  Not to worry, no one will die because there are no journalists left in the United States.