[Editor's Note: Thanks to my brother-in-law for this story via his partner. This is a joke, i.e., satire, not that the stuffed liberal shirts at the NY Slimes could tell the difference. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.]
A Harley rider is passing the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A New York Slimes reporter has watched the whole event. The reporter says, "Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life."
The biker replies, "Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right."
The reporter says, "Well, I'm a journalist from the New York Slimes, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the front page so, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?"
The biker replies, "I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican."
The following morning the biker buys the New York Slimes to see if it indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page:
U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH
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