LIBERAL JOKES (If you think about it, aren't they all jokes?)



Disclaimer: Content includes recycled moron, blond, and other disadvantaged group jokes. 



Did you hear that Congressman Jerry Nadler is so dumb that he needs tutoring to qualify as a village idiot?

Did you hear about the two Senators from California that were so dense that it took them both an entire year to figure out a one piece jigsaw puzzle?

How do you confuse Congressman Steny Hoyer?  Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.

Did you hear that Joy Behar got an AM radio to listen to Airhead America?  It took her a month to realize that she could play it at night!

How do you make Senator John Kerry laugh on Saturday?  Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

How can you tell when a Liberal clerk/typist has been using the computer? There is white-out all over the screen!

What do you do if a Liberal throws a grenade at you?  Pull the pin and throw it back!

Why did Bill Clinton open the refrigerator door?  To see the salad dressing.

How many Liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?  Twenty. One to hold the bulb, one to write the grant application, one to launder the money so that it gets to the DNC, two mandatory SEIU employees just standing around, one to write an environmental impact report, twelve to write regulations, and two to turn the chair.

Congresswoman Maxine Waters and Senator Barbara "I earned it!" Boxer were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of a Congressional Mercedes Benz® with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.  Senator Boxer with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and Congresswoman Waters said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

Why does Senator Chuck Schumer like lightning?  He thinks (sic) that it's another photo op.

Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner and Congressman Charlie Rangel were walking through the woods when they came to some tracks.  Geithner said "These look like deer tracks," and Rangel said "No, they look like moose tracks."  They argued and argued, and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

Barack Obama walks up to a Coke® machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke.  Obama looks amazed and runs off to a Chinese laundry to borrow more coins.  He returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the Coke® machine keeps feeding out drinks. Nancy Pelosi walks up behind Obama and watches his antics for a few minutes before stopping and asking him if she could have a go at it. An angry Obama spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you see I'm winning!" Pelosi's face then cracks into pieces at the force of Obama's shouting.

If Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz and former DNC Chair Howard Dean fell off a building, who would land first? Schultz would, because Dean would stop and ask for directions!



TRAGIC BUS: A PARODY SONG ABOUT OBAMA'S BUS TOUR

[Editor's note: The Obama bus is Canadian manufactured and cost taxpayers $1.1 million. It has been described as "a monstrous shimmering black bus.")

TRAGIC BUS (Apologies to the Who)

Every day I turn on the tube (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
To watch a bus taking Obama on tour (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
I'm so helpless, I sit and stare (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Cuz the White House is so far away (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Damn you, driver for driving Obama around (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
But you're not an inspector general, anyway (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
I can't cause no legal fuss (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
But how come taxpayers bought the Tragic Bus? (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
Nooooooooo!

I really care how much we paid (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
I‘d like to take a bus to a job someday (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
[Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus,
Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus]

Give us back $1.1 million for the … (Tragic Bus)
Don't throw us under the… (Tragic Bus)
Goes like black thunder… (Tragic Bus)
It's a Canadian wonder… (Tragic Bus)

Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus
I wanna sell it, I wanna sell it, I wanna sell it... (You can't sell it!)
Think how much that you could save... (You can't sell it!)]
Please sell it, Please sell it, Please sell it, Please sell it... (You can't sell it!)

One point one million bucks paid
Just to drive Obama on his 3-day Tour
That’s $366,000 a day
To drive Obama every way

Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus, Tragic Bus...
I wanna sell it, I wanna sell it, I wanna sell the Tragic Bus...

I said, now we're stuck with a Tragic Bus (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
I said, now we're stuck with a Tragic Bus (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
It drives Obama every place (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
And each time Obama puts on a different face (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
I wanna sell it, I wanna sell it, I wanna sell it, I wanna sell it...

But every day you'll eat his dust (Too much, the Tragic Bus)
As Obama drives the country down in our Tragic Bus (Too much, the Tragic Bus)

IS IT 2012 YET?

Corn Fed Cattle Call

The Iowa Caucus is over and another RINO Presidential candidate has bitten the dust.  Former "Cap and Trade" aficionado Tim Pawlenty is out of the Presidential race after his poor showing in the Iowa straw pole. The big winners out of the Iowa caucus are Rick Perry and home girl Michele Bachmann. Perry, the new kid on the block, is attracting attention because one third of the jobs created in the United States in the last few years were created in the state of Texas.  Almost immediately, the Obama administration claimed credit for the job creation by saying that federal government military spending and the stimulus were responsible for the new jobs in Texas.  The bottom line is however, is that Perry and Bachmann are now being vetted by the Presstitutes (thanks Rush) in a way that should have been done to Obama in 2008.  That we still don't know anything about Obama is a scary thing given that a President of the United States has the power to destroy the entire world.

_________________________

Recently, Barack Hussein Obama said that there were not as many shovel ready jobs as he originally thought with regard to the stimulus package that was supposed to keep unemployment under eight percent.  (Now there's a funny thought, Obama with an original thought.)  Gee, so which is it Barry?  Were there any shovel ready jobs or weren't there any shovel ready jobs?  Your minions are claiming that military spending is good because it helped you fix the economy, but in the same breath they also assert that we should make drastic cuts in the military budget anyway. Your crack staff also claims that the oil and gas industry was unleashed by Obama and that the Texas economic boom had nothing to do with anything that Governor Rick Perry did during his ten-year tenure.

But I guess it's kind of the same thing as saying that Bill Clinton had nothing to do with prosperity in the 1990s, because Clinton didn't have anything to do with information technology boom.  The only distinction between Perry and Clinton is that Perry is pro-business unlike the tax and spend Liberal Fascist Bill Clinton.  But Liberals are always allowed to falsely claim credit for things that they don't accomplish.  Bill Clinton claimed to be bonafide Rhodes scholar, but flunked out of Oxford.  Obama is supposed to be the smartest guy to ever be President, but he hides his marks from grade school on up. Is that the logical act of a smart guy?  You'd think they'd publicize the smart man's grades.  But maybe they're bluffing about his brain power or maybe he flunked coloring book and sandbox in the first grade?

Hey Barry, Does your staff's plugged ears ever hear what their collective mouths are saying? We don't have to ask about absence of of a thinking process. There is none amongst these Ivy League degreed geniuses. Is it 2012 yet?


Doubling Down on Incompetence


Fresh off the triumph of "killing" Bin Laden comes the news that the Pakistanis, which Obama and his crack team of foreign policy experts have berated and offended; have given the Communist Chinese access to an American helicopter used in the Bin Laden operation. The sad thing is that the Reds now have a method to reverse engineer the stealth technology that was the exclusive domain of the United States.  Even when this guy does something right he still screws up. Is it 2012 yet?


Sniper Fire


Throughout this whole budget/debt ceiling crisis Democrats have come up with bupkis with any spending plan except for more tax and spend. No approved Federal budget for nearly three years from Senate Democrats. Democrats have offered no serious debt reduction plan at all and yet the Presidunce acts as if he's tried to offer a compromise. He's done nothing but whine like a spoiled little girl. Still nothing from these crooked bastards. We need to cut the cancer that is the Democrat party from the body politic.  Is it 2012 yet?



WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH GO ON VACATION

o quote Ronald Reagan, "There he goes again!"  Our "play everyday" Presidunce is going on vacation again.  This time it's to Martha's Vineyard, playground of the plutocrats.  The terminally bored Michelle Antoinette must be bending his ear again and the Boy Blunder cowers in fright.  (Bill Clinton also cowered before Hillary.)  In his heart Obama knows that going on vacation at this time is bad.  Many voters and their families are either going on involuntary stay-cations because they are unemployed or they're cutting back because they are in fear of losing their jobs.  But the wrath of Michelle Antoinette must be too frightening for the Presidunce to ignore the justified wrath of economically aggrieved voters.

Funny thing about Liberal men, they seem to either be deathly afraid of their women or they are closet misogynists.  If they're Tom Daschle or Harry Reid they adopt effete mannerisms and speech so that they will--in their feeble mindsets--not offend women voters.  If they are Bill Clinton, Gary Hart, Anthony Weiner, Elliot Spitzer, or Teddy Kennedy they become womanizers because of their deep seated contempt for women in general.

Needless to say, Obama may be counting on the short memories of voters and the cover provided by the Lame Stream Media complex.  This time his faith in those factors are gravely misplaced.  This is not 2008. He has a record now.  It can't be hidden because we are all living through the Hell created by this incompetent, insensitive, puppet of the plutocrats.  The people are on to your scam President Puppet.

A CLEAR AND PRESENT DANGER

Ye gods, it doth amaze me,
A man of such a feeble temper should
So get the start of the majestic world,
And bear the palm alone. Julius Caesar (1.2.129)

It's been two and a half years, but it's still unbelievable that such an inexperienced, incompetent and largely unknown man was elected to be the President of the United States of America.  This is being posted on the eve of the 37th anniversary of the resignation of the "evil" Richard Nixon--a man that had moments of brilliance and very low moments during his Presidential tenure.  Taking a page from Liberal Fascist pig moral relativsim, Nixon's "crimes" appear minor in comparison with this corrupt gangster's high crimes and misdemeanors. There's nothing worse than a Robin Hood that turns out to be a Robin Hoodlum.

There have been several examples of men that were not quite up to the job of being the President.  The most recent example was Jimmy Carter.  But like the proverbial broken clock that is right twice a day, Carter was right when he selected Paul Volcker to head the Federal Reserve.  Volcker administered some harsh economic medicine, which probably helped to defeat Carter in the 1980 Presidential election.  But the country's best interests were served through this appointment by laying the foundation for the Reagan Revolution in which tax cuts paved the way for nearly two decades of uninterrupted prosperity.  In retrospect, Carter's appointment in the late 1970s of such a harsh economic taskmaster as Volcker was seemingly self-sacrificing.  There's no such self-sacrifice with Obama the prima donna do nothing--he's into partying and enjoying the "perks" of the job without the responsibilities.  Gone are the days when you were fairly certain that your President would, to paraphrase Spike Lee, do the right thing. 

Contrast Carter's duty to country with the adolescent unpatriotic whining of Barack Obama and his legion of defenders.  When he and his mind-numbed Obamabots try to excuse his shortcomings, it is always because it is either someone else's fault or that he's the victim of prejudice against Blacks.  But it was a liberal blogger that first used the term "Barack the  Magic Negro" and not Rush Limbaugh as the lying Liberal Fascist pigs have tried to assert.  It was David Ehrenstein in his L.A. Times opinion piece that called Obama the "Magic Negro."  Ehrenstein is an American film critic of Jewish and Black heritage that writes primarily about homosexuality in film.  The "tag line" in his opinion piece was that, "The Illinois senator [Obama] lends himself to white America's idealized, less-than-real black man."  Eherenstein is correct in noting that Obama appeals to white elitists. They almost always have Ivy League credentials.  Moreover, there is also the issue of having slave blood as a qualifier to assert one's "Blackness" that was brought up by the President of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, Charles Steele Jr.  Heaven help any non-black that would have brought up that argument in 2008!  But Liberal-Fascist step 'n' fechits like the multiloquent Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX) will always cry racism even when  Obama is being criticized solely on policy grounds for promoting the white Liberal Fascist Plutocrats' agenda.  She doesn't realize that she is providing cover for Liberal-Fascist white plutocrats like the Kennedys and Warren Buffett.  What a foolish woman.  But then Obama delivered a eulogy at Robert "KKK" Byrd's funeral.  Never forget that the Ku Klux Klan was a political/terrorist arm of the Democrat party.  Also note that Democrat icon JFK voted against the 1957 Civil Rights Act. That might make for an interesting Black History Month presentation.

Of course we're all familiar with the classic refrain, "It's Bush's fault!"   Add to that old chestnut the new Liberal Socialist pig refrain, "It's the Tea Party's fault for the S&P credit downgrade!"  Oh no, it couldn't have been the $4 trillion pissed away by this spendthrift adolescent the last two and one half years.  Yet, Obama blames everything on the "mess" that he inherited from the evil "W"!  But it wasn't fate as Barack the Boy Blunder would have you believe.

Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world

Like a Colossus; and we petty men

Walk under his huge legs, and peep about
To find ourselves dishonourable graves.
Men at some time are masters of their fates:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings. Julius Caesar (1.2.135)
 

Had he truly earned the sterling university and law school grades that he and his handlers claim that he earned, but now furtively hide, Obama might have learned something about the fatal flaws of arrogance, pride, and about the sacredness of the U.S. Constitution.  Yet, two and a half years into his Presidency and Obama still blames everyone else for his mistakes; like the lack of "shovel ready jobs" after he pissed away $800 billion plus on money that was used to save public sector union jobs.  In other words, it was a money laundering scheme to ensure that part of the union dues paid would be contributed to the Democrook party.  After gifts of American public corporations to corrupt unions, the use of bribery to pass unwanted health legislation, and an illegal war in Libya; why he hasn't been impeached is one of the great mysteries of this very young century.  Nixon would have a true grievance were he alive today.

DON'T BUY A PIG IN POKE--NO MORE ACCEPTANCE OF ILLUSORY PROMISES FROM DEMOCRATS

Republicans are about to buy "a pig in a poke" based upon an illusory promise by Democrats to agree to cut spending over 10 years in the future in exchange for a huge raise in the debt ceiling now.  According to one online dictionary of idioms, a "pig in a poke" is "something acquired without inspection and which may therefore be worthless." 

Another online dictionary states that an illusory promise is: "A statement that appears to assure a performance and form a contract but, when scrutinized, leaves to the speaker the choice of performance or non-performance, which means that the speaker does not legally bind himself or herself to act." 

The Boehner bill is up for approval today by the House of Representatives.  In exchange for an immediate $900 billion raise in the debt ceiling, there is a promise by the Democrooks to reduce the debt by $850 Billion over 10 years.  (This is subject to pending revisions by Boehner to meet Congressional Budget Office criticisms.)  For a "quick and dirty" summary of the Boehner bill go here.

We've already seen how worthless Democrat promises of compromise have been in the past 40 years.  In the last Congress, the rule of thumb was that Democrats ran roughshod over Republicans and resorted to bribery and corruption to pass unwanted legislation like ObamaCare.  But with the Boehner Bill, our spendthrift President gets to spend a trillion dollars now in exchange for illusory cuts in the budget that might not happen over the next 10 years. 

Why does Obama get all of his debt ceiling raise at once and the American people have to wait for spending cuts dribbled out over 10 years?  Take a chance Republicans.  It's doubtful that the major credit agencies will downgrade the U.S. credit rating on August 2.  Too many nations are holding a bag U.S. financial paper.  No one wants a worldwide financial disaster over the Adolescent-in-Chief's bluff and irresponsibilty. 

Obama and the Democrats are the ultimate criminal syndicate with their lies and theft of public taxpayer funds.  It's time to stop these gangsters--NOW!  Take Obama's stolen credit card away.  Save America!

MEH, THE NFL IS BACK.



At a time when unemployment is running over 9% (17% actual if you count the underemployed and those that have given up looking for work); football players and team owners were, until yesterday, haggling over the split of the $9 billion in revenue that the NFL generates annually.  To the average unemployed individual it seemed to be a rather petty dispute between callous millionaires and billionaires. 

In San Diego, the wealthy Spanos family is still trying to find a way to have the taxpayers subsidize a new stadium with taxpayer cash and city land for their Chargers business.  Their quest has been made more difficult by Governor Jerry "Retread" Brown's impound of all local community redevelopment funds to help satisfy the Sacramento's insatiable appetite for spending.  Unless an owner builds his or her own stadium or the team is located in a prosperous state like Texas, it will be at least ten years before any sports stadium is financed with public funds. 

All this brings to mind the real purpose of local government, which is to provide basic municipal services like streets, fire protection, police, and infrastructure.  Local governments are not venture capital banks.  Few politicians have the requisite skills to run a simple lemonade stand.   And truth be told, most politicians have no real marketable job skills.  Elective office is often the best job that most of them will ever have.  And the NFL owners are just another bunch of potential campaign contributors that, with a well placed contribution might benefit financially using other people's money, i.e., taxpayer money. 

Keep your eye on the bouncing ball!

I loved the game when it was common for players to take "real jobs" in the off season.  That was in the Golden Age of Pro Football in the 1960s.  A couple of players worked at the department store where I worked at as a sales clerk forty years ago.  Other players sold cars, insurance, houses or worked at banks.  They were for the most part regular guys and not the prima donnas of today's game.  The game lost its luster for me when the NFL reinstated Michael Vick, dog torturer and gambling ring impresario. 

Nobody denies that Michael Vick has a right to make a living, but there are some misdeeds that should foreclose one from making a living in certain professions.  Thieves rarely get to work at banks or any job that requires honesty.  The animal cruelty aside, running a gambling ring should be evidence of a character flaw that is incompatible with the so-called integrity of the NFL.

No doubt I'll watch a couple of football games this year.  But it just doesn't have the same magic that it held for me many years ago when I was able to eat my tuna sandwich next to a real NFL player in the store lunchroom.



They don't make them like that anymore--

the 32 cent postage stamp OR Jim Thorpe.

CUT THE CRAP AND CUT SPENDING NOW!

I don't know about you, but the idea of spending millions of taxpayer dollars on groups like Planned (Genocide) Parenthood, ACORN, Hamas, and SEIU irks me.  The new mission of NASA to make Muslims feel good about themselves is yet another colossal waste of taxpayer money.  The Non-Stimulus package with its phantom "shovel ready jobs" turned out to be a money laundering scheme to save public employee union jobs so that those unions could turn over member dues as campaign contributions to the Democrat Party.  So where's the loyal opposition?

As I've said before, you cannot trust Republicans to do the right thing or anything for that matter.  I don't know what they do with all that money that they raise from fundraising events and those obnoxious mailers that they continue to send me.  They seem to spend it at  boobie bars ogling pole dancers.  About 15 years ago, I used to send $45 every two weeks to the GOP National Committee.  I stopped sending money when they failed to respond to a parsed 1995 DNC ad claiming that Gingrich said he wanted the Medicare bureaucracy to die on the vine.  

I watched for eight years while George W. Bush allowed himself to be politically bitch slapped by namby-pamby Democrat critics like Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.  Bush took the "high road" for seven years, eleven months, and three weeks.  Bush finally defended himself weakly in the last week of his Presidency.  It was way too little and way too late.  He was brutally mocked as he took off on Marine One into retirement by the highly civil leftists.

Now there's the so-called "Gangrene of Six" with their latest "Lucy pulls the football away from Charlie Brown" trick.  Promises to cut spending in the future by the Democrats will never happen.  The Republidorks will the illusory promise trade in exchange for more walking around money for the Democrats to pass around to their crony corporatists and illegal voting base.   RICO criminal charges anyone?  Oh right, Eric Holder--the most corrupt, incompetent, partisan Attorney General since Ramsey Clark--is running the show.  Unless you're a racist Black Panther forget about getting any justice.  Ever.

Cut, Cap, and Balance has passed the House.  Republican Senate "leaders" should be demanding a Senate vote and let Senate Democrats go on the record as being for the fiscal destruction of the United States.  But they won't.  They're cowards; and because of their cowardice it may be time to declare the death of the Republican Party and eventually, the United States of America.

What the country wants are budgets cuts now and not ten years from now.   Yet, with all the mismanagement of the economy, Obama may still get re-elected.  If he does, it will be the fault of the weak-kneed RINOs.

______________________

Post Script:  I would trust Michele Bachmann with her menopausel migraines any day of the week and with any crisis over the former dope smoking, former coke snorting, lying, tobacco smoking, incompetent Obama. 

   

THE MOST BRILLIANT PRESIDENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES IS A PRESIDUNCE.

Barack Obama has promised to veto any amendment to the Constitution to balance the Federal budget.  Article 5 of the U.S. Constitution states:

The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as Part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures of three fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.

Nowhere does this Article mention any role of the President in this process.  The proposed amendment would limit the budget so that any spendthrift despot like Obama could not spend the country into financial oblivion.  The opposition by the Pharaoh shows his contempt for the Constitution of the United States.  What an embarrassment for the great law school at the University of Chicago to have had a dunce like Obama teach there. 

FORGET ABOUT READING, WRITING, & ARITHMETIC! LET'S LEARN ABOUT THOSE FABULOUS GAYS THROUGHOUT HISTORY!

 

"Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man," is a Jesuit maxim often attributed to St. Francis Xavier.  Even back in the 16th Century, it was recognized that up until seven years of age children are easily influenced.  Gay activists are pressing for more and more indoctrination of underage children into the gay lifestyle.  But it's not a matter of denying the civil rights of gays and lesbians, et al.  It is a matter of parental control, which is also a civil and a natural right.

California Governor Jerry "60s Retread" Brown signed SB 48, adding gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT and sometimes Q for questioning) studies to the public school curriculum this past week.  These studies would be included in the public schools social studies curriculum.  Supporters of the new law hope that it will teach students to be more tolerant of gay students and help reduce bullying.  It is also designed to teach students about the contributions of people that are gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender.

When I read The Picture of Dorian Gray in high school, it was more important that I read and appreciated the book.  Irrelevant details like the fact that Oscar Wilde was gay would have added nothing to my understanding of the book.  Moreover, there was  no overtly gay theme to speak of.  It is also true there is some gay  imagery in Walt Whitman's  poetry.  But quite frankly unless it rises to the level of hardcore gay porn with images of Jack Wrangler cavorting through the leaves of grass who cares?  But isn't all this sidebar stuff better taught in a college setting where students are mature enough to learn without giggling like silly adolescents?
  

These public school GLBT and sometimes Q studies may not be as intense as university courses that are sometimes called Queer Studies, but there are issues of timing and indoctrination into a lifestyle that parents might not want for their children.  It is also an issue of who ultimately controls the upbringing and education of children.  This law comes at the same time when there is a controversy over state intervention in the case of extremely obese children by putting those children in foster care.  Add to that, Michelle Obama's fascist nutritional initiative viz. childhood obesity and more and more it appears that the Nanny State is enlarging its role in loco parentis. The Sacramento-based Capitol Resource Institute has begun the initiative process to hold a statewide vote to overturn the bill. If you're a registered voter in California please take a moment to sign the petition to place this issue on the ballot.  Do it while participatory democracy still exists in the Era of Obama's Oppression.

____________________

Addendum to my post about Pharaoh Barack's day off:

11.  Cut the quarter billion dollar funding of Planned Parenthood's genocidal activities.