For the First Time in My Adult Life I'm Genuinely Embarassed by My Country's Leaders- Part I of a Occasional Series

Yes, I know that  Barry O proclaimed to the Chicago Sun-Times, probably in a slightly menacing testosterone-laden baritone voice, that the press and all others should "lay off [his] wife [and family]" during the 2008 Presidential Campaign.  Hopefully, he wasn't wearing the "Mom Jeans" that he wore at the 2009 MLB All-Star game as he was laying the law down.  Well, I'm sorry, but I just can't help it. The POTUS and his wife, the FLOTUS generate a million laffs because of their frequent gaffes (a gaffe is called a faux pas by Progressive Effete Elite People [PEEP] a.k.a. Liberals).

  

Most of the gaffes have been covered up or ignored by the Lame Stream Media, e.g., like when Barry O said he had been to 57 [American] States.  Hmmm, there are 55 Islamic States, although some squawk radio guys say it's 57 and maybe Barry O thinks so too.  And maybe, just maybe, that was just another slip of the tongue just like the one when he accidentaly referred to his Muslim faith in an interview with George Step-on-all-of-us (Stephanopoulos).  The only time Barry O seems to ever get made fun of is on late night TV when most working people are in bed.  Poor W could never catch a break like that when he mangled English. His gaffes were all over TV news, books, blogs, magazines, comedy shows, late night TV, and YouTube.

The above-mentioned PEEPs were the same bunch that used to wrinkle their noses, inhale deeply, and then sarcastically call Ronald Reagan an amiable dolt as they angrily savaged his wife Nancy for her obsession with designer clothes!  How times have changed! Now the fashion driven Michelle Obama (Mobama) is held up as a fashion icon.

NN: OMG!!!  I just realized that Barky's political thugs are from Chi-town and that I should really watch my words!!!  Who knows what could happen to me?!?!  This blog post could mean my exposure to the politics of personal destruction, life in a DNC re-education camp, going through an intensive IRS audit, or getting an all expenses paid vacation to Gitmo when it transitions into Obama's gulag!!!  Damn, Keith Olbermann could could even name me "Theee woooorst personnnnn in the woooorld!  And you know, that if she were in my place, Dorothy (from the Wizard of Oz) might say "Leninists and Trotskyites and Bolsheviks...oh my!"  Ahh, but WTF!  I enjoy the danger.  After all, I am protected by the First Amendment.  Aren't I? Anyway here goes...

According to several sources, Mobama has an expensive palace cadre of servants and staff.  That appears to demonstrate a Marie Antoinette-like indifference to the current economic situation shared by most of us proles.  The following is a  list of White House staff members assigned to the First Lady as compiled by Canada Free Press and others (Google "Michelle Obama's staff"), with my speculative comment (all in jest, please don't taze me Brobama!) as to their actual job functions:

1. $172,2000 - Sher, Susan (Chief Of Staff)

NN: Yeah, I know  that  top assistants to "big shots" always get the big bucks.  But really, Mobama is not a legislator, an Obama Czar, or even a subject matter expert.  Why such a big salary for this Chief of Staff?

2. $140,000 - Frye, Jocelyn C. (Deputy Assistant to the President and Director of Policy and Projects For The First Lady)

NN: So Frye directs projects like the White House Vegetable Garden.  So, is stuff like this really worth a whopping $140,000 a year to think up?

3. $113,000 - Rogers, Desiree G. (Special Assistant to the President and White House Social Secretary) and Wanabee Fashion Maven

NN: Sorry Desi, but  you've done a crummy job so far!  I've heard that you are the one most responsible for putting Mobama on the fashion radar screen. But while volunteering at a D.C. food bank on April 29, 2009, (that you probably arranged), the FLOTUS sported a J. Crew cardigan, capri pants and Lanvin trainers that cost $540 a pair. Let's see, $540 would probably buy a lot of food for the poor, but Michelle Antoinette is more concerned with wearing overpriced sneakers that DON'T match her outfit just to show the rest of us proletarians that she can afford to buy them now that her hubby is a big shot (the POTUS)!

Fashionista Note: (I know, but I just can't help it.  I used to work in retail.) Michelle's Lanvin Trainers are suede uppers, with grosgrain ribbon laces and metallic pink toe caps.  The maker, Lanvin is one of fashion's hottest labels. These sneakers also come in denim and satin versions. Despite their ugliness they sold well throughout Spring 2009.  By now of course, there is probably a knock off version at Payless Shoes.  So let's hope for a Payless BOGO sale real soon!

4. $102,000 - Johnston, Camille Y. (Special Assistant to the President and Director of Communications for the First Lady)

NN: Instead of having her pontificate on domestic issues like ObamaCare, could we please have Mobama do the usual FLOTUS things--like promoting literacy or beautifying America? That would be worth the combined $240K salary for Ms Johnson and Ms Frye to honcho.

5. $102,000 - Winter, Melissa E. (Special Assistant to the President and Deputy Chief Of Staff to the First Lady)

NN: Does she sharpen pencils and fetch coffee for the Chief of Staff, Susan Sher?  This reminds me of what a professor that I had when I was in grad school told me about useless jobs.  The Prof went to the U of Chicago--is the picture getting clearer?  To support himself he worked several patronage (useless) jobs that were parceled out by Mayor Daley the First.  He described the jobs as useless public works jobs in which five guys took turns going down a manhole while the other four stood around and BS'd about various topics.

6. $90,000 - Medina, David S. (Deputy Chief Of Staff to the First Lady)

NN: What does he do--arrange the paper clips, keep the staplers filled, and maybe act as the key operator for the West Wing copier? Or maybe he's the Incriminating Paper Document Shredder to the Czars?  That's an important job so either you'd better pay this guy well or send him to a country where there's no extradition treaty.

7. $84,000 - Lelyveld, Catherine M. (Director and Press Secretary to the First Lady)

NN: So Lelyveld is the spokesmouth. Wow, this seems like the kind of job where the Boss Lady tells her, "When I want your opinion I'll give it to you! Write this down--now!"

8. $75,000 - Starkey, Frances M. (Director of Scheduling and Advance for the First Lady)
NN: She's in charge of holding Mobama's Blackberry with the calendar application.

9. $70,000 - Sanders, Trooper (Deputy Director of Policy and Projects for the First Lady)
NN: The "Troop" bought the Burpee® seeds and the MiracleGro® at the Home Depot® for the White House Vegetable Garden.

10. $65,000 - Burnough, Erinn J. (Deputy Director and Deputy Social Secretary)
NN:  Maybe she does the decorations for the office parties.

11. $65,000 - Reinstein, Joseph B. (Deputy Director and Deputy Social Secretary)NN: Maybe he's the "muscle" that sets up the chairs at the Rose Garden parties thrown by the FLOTUS.

12. $62,000 - Goodman, Jennifer R. (Deputy Director of Scheduling and Events Coordinator For The First Lady)
NN: She's in charge of holding Mobama's Blackberry case.

13. $60,000 - Fitts, Alan O. (Deputy Director of Advance and Trip Director for the First Lady)
NN: Big Al probably carries the FLOTUS's luggage onto Air Force One.  He also keeps a secret stash of those tasty little peanuts that the Southwest Flight Attendants give out.

14. $60,000 - Lewis, Dana M. (Special Assistant and Personal Aide to the First Lady)NN: Gotta be an overworked Gopher.

15. $52,500 - Mustaphi, Semonti M. (Associate Director and Deputy Press Secretary To The First Lady)
NN: This is the one that Press Secretary Leyveld chews out after she's had her a** chewed out by Mobama.

16. $50,000 - Jarvis, Kristen E. (Special Assistant for Scheduling and Traveling Aide To The First Lady)
NN: Kristen carries Mobama's make-up bag onto Air Force One.

17. $45,000 - Lechtenberg, Tyler A. (Associate Director of Correspondence For The First Lady)
NN: He's in charge of office stationery replenishment.

18. $45,000 - Tubman, Samantha (Deputy Associate Director, Social Office)
NN: "Sam" is in charge of all Potluck and Tupperware Parties in West Wing.

19. $40,000 - Boswell, Joseph J. (Executive Assistant to the Chief Of Staff to the First Lady)
NN: The gopher for the Chief of Staff.

20. $36,000 - Armbruster, Sally M. (Staff Assistant to the Social Secretary)
NN: AKA "The Enforcer"  Her real surname is Armbuster!  She collects for the office coffee fund, the water club, and all the sports betting pools. She also makes sure that the timesheets are filled out properly and turned in on time.

21. $36,000 - Bookey, Natalie (Staff Assistant)
NN: "Bookey" runs all the sports betting pools and makes sure that the all the collections and payouts are timely made.

22. $36,000 - Jackson, Deilia A. (Deputy Associate Director of Correspondence for the First Lady)
NN: Stuffs envelopes and keeps the office candy dishes filled. 

According to the Canada Free Press: "...this adds up to a whopping $1,600,700.00 and the amount doesn’t include the elite benefit packages granted to the White House staff and their significant others (include same-sex partners). Nor does the figure take into account the salaries for the two additional full-time staff members mentioned by Mrs. Obama’s Press Secretary nor the full time hair-dresser and makeup artist assigned to her. A guesstimate of the total salaries for Mrs. Obama’s attendants is $1,750,00.00 plus the additional benefits."

So now you know how the "upper crust" lives as you're cashing your unemployment check at the liquor store.  Cheer up!  Maybe you can get a high paying "skate" job despite the fact that you actually have marketable job skills--but no connections.